| 101. |
[03 Feb 2010|03:03pm] |
Complete by: November 1, 2011
Completed Tasks: 15
In process: 9
Appearance and Health;
1. Lose weight/learn to be happy with my body
2. Dye my hair after achieving one
3. Find my fashion sense again
4. Get my second tattoo completed 7/31/09
5. Get my nose pierced
6. Drink only water for fourteen days
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7. Drink Green Tea every night for two consecutive weeks (0/14)
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8. Get up and get ready for class every day for a week
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9. Take a vitamin every day for one month
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10. Drink no alcohol for a month
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11. Try veganism for at least two weeks
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12. Wake up really early and go on a walk 20 times
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13. Fast and detox the body. Drink only water for two days and then eat only
vegetables/fruits for five days after that completed 2/21/09
14. Go two weeks without having anything from Papa John's
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71. Get my tattoo fixed
Reading, Seeing, Listening and Writing;
15. Read every book by Jack Kerouac
16. Read Atlas Shrugged
17. Start writing again
18. Keep and finish my journal
19. Write at least one short story
20. Read the Bell Jar
21. Read at least five books on Jack the Ripper & The Winter Rose
22. Renew my library card and use it
23. Read every Jane Austen novel
24. Send a story into a magazine to get published
25. Discover ten new bands or artists that I like;
incubus (1)
kings of leon (2)
the beatles (3)
cut copy (4)
radiohead (5)
mstrkrft (6)
fleet foxes (7)
andrew jackson jihad (8)
26. Buy a record player/5 records
27. Find one new band I truly love
kings of leon
28. Write down ten dreams
#1 - july 2nd, 2009
29. Write a letter to my future self;
open it on the last day of this challenge
Religion;
30. Start going to mass every Sunday
16. Buy a chain for my cross/buy a cross necklace completed 3/10/09
31. Learn more about other religions (specifically Buddhism, Islam and Taoism)
32. Read a few passages in the bible at least once a week
33. Go to mass at least once in the Basilica
34. Buy a peace sign necklace and wear it with my cross
35. Learn NC
36. Apply to the Mexico program
37. Walk to the Grotto, light a candle and pray (14/14)
School;
38. Declare my major
39. Have one semester with at least a 3.5 GPA
40. Stay in at least five weekends and do homework
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41. Learn the basics of grammar in the English language
42. See the Top 10 movies on IMDB
43. See Casablanca and Breakfast at Tiffany's
75. Join and actively participate in at least three clubs next year
76. Eat at ND one night
Improving myself as a being;
44. Learn how to cook well
45. Learn to habitually keep up with the news
46. Start yoga again, if I have the money and means
47. Go on a road trip; anywhere with anyone; chicago with rohan and lindsy completed 8/9/09
48. Delete facebook for at least a month
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49. Go bungee-jumping
50. Find someone worth my time
51. Stay off adium for one week
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52. Use computer for two hours a day for a week straight
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53. Send a postcard to PostSecret
54. Make a list of 101 things that make me happy in my journal in one sitting
55. Adopt a US soldier - www.adoptaussoldier.org completed 7/3/09
74. Send a care package to the US soldier
Food and Drink;
56. Taste J. Lohr wine
57. Try Absinthe
58. Try Papa John's cinnamon pizza
Knowledge;
59. Watch ten documentaries on subjects I never really cared about before
60. Learn the basics of sign language
61. Learn the names of all the presidents in order
62. Read at least two books on the Civil War Era
Travel and the summer;
63. Get a job this summer
64. Go to Greece
65. Hike over each summer 10 times (6/10)
6/16/09 6/17/09 6/28/09 7/5/09 7/7/09 7/8/09; don't know when i completed this but i most definitely did.
66. Visit Chicago completed 8/3/09
67. Try my hand at Golf
68. Save at least 500 dollars this summer
69. Picnic in Central Park
70. Movie night in Bryant Park
71. Join the Peace Corps
72. Internship in London
Etc;
73. Finish LOST (4 seasons)
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77. Kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s/ under a Mistletoe/ on a Beach (0/3)
78. Learn Dreamweaver and Photoshop extensively.
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| restaurant, fires, cornfields and dying. |
[27 Nov 2009|04:11pm] |
i. kerri and i were sitting in a beautiful hall that had ceilings fifty feet above our heats. Parts of the ceiling were made of glass so the sun was able to stream through and hit our faces. Arches stretched from one side of the room to the other and columns were placed every ten feet. Dark oak tables were littered around the whole room and we were sitting at one of them. "let's go to the bathroom," kerri said. "okay." as we were walking back out of the bathroom a boy named adam thought i was cute and asked kerri for my number and name. without hesitation she handed over my number and name and before i knew it he was trying to talk to me. i told him i wasn't interested, sorry. i had my mind on another boy.
ii. i found myself in the same restaurant, room, atrium, but sitting in the back room at a tall round table by myself with tall oak chairs. sitting there, doing work, i noticed outside was all cornfields and couldn't help but be attracted by the mystery of it. i got up and started to walk outside into the field. as i walked a few feet in, i noticed that i hadn't been the first person allured by the field because there were paths and signs already cut out, ready for me to explore. not only that, but a few people were already waiting for me. bill, donny, and others that i didn't know about. we started to hike and soon became familiar with the area as we wandered. soon bill, donny and i split off from everyone else and we found a wooded area with rocks and trees and we started climbing the rocks in red masks with big white eyes (ie bloody beetroots). a fire was roaring off in the distance and we didn't know who it was or where we were going but i don't think we cared.
iii. the three of us found ourselves back in the restaurant but in one of the back rooms. i was talking to john on the phone and he hung up with me because i knew it was bill's brother that i was talking to. the three of us were talking and bill gave me a letter of all the inside jokes that happened in the cornfields (they escape me now though one had to do with me shouting about how we ended up in the woods and we all found it extremely hysterical).
iv. donny and i were hiking in the cornfields just talking and walking about. for some reason, this was our home and we accepted it. we could go back to the restaurant when we wanted to, but those two areas were the only ones we knew now. we continued walking and we found an open area where we generally meet with others and a crowd of people were looking over someone on a bed. it was my grandmother. she was sick and in the process of dying. she had long blonde hair and no wrinkles but she was dehydrated and we had no water. she told me she loved me and then said she was too weak to talk any longer and passed away.
i know there was more but i can't remeber it, i hate when i do that. dfkgdfgdfgkjdkj
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| detox |
[02 Jul 2009|11:47pm] |
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| dream one for one-o-one |
[02 Jul 2009|11:35pm] |
i had to get to my brother's football dinner. the whole family was there, they were depending on me. i walked fast through a town that was clearly unsafe especially after the sun went down. men secretly hid in between walls, down alleys, around corners. i prayed that i wouldn't be taken by one. i quickened my pace and finally found the restaurant my family occupied for the night. my grandfather was there. well, his body was but his spirit and soul were long gone. that was something i still haven't come to terms with. everyone was upset, uncomfortable and confused. i decided to go to the back, wash up and take a shower. there were three bathrooms, all identical and i walked into the one on the right. the tiling was a pale yellow and a neon light hung above me blending with the color of the bathroom. i took of my clothes and turned on the shower. on the ground was a black splotch that looked like ink. then i noticed a similar spot on my shoulder. i tried to wipe it off and it just got bigger. i looked up and a girl was staring at me wide eyed, blood dripping down her head, black spots littering her body.
why did you let it happen?
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[05 Feb 2009|01:01am] |
1. i am fascinated by dreams. i believe that dreams are our subconscious trying to tell us something we don't fully understand and show the true beauty/creativity of the human mind. whenever i have an inspiring dream i write it down in as much depth as i can.
2. i lose things every day. i don't know how but i believe that it is an acquired skill.
3. after much debate, frustration and confusion i've finally decided that i want to major/get my masters in english and minor in philosophy.
4. i will be studying abroad in ireland for a year starting in august. this is something i've been dreaming to do for as long as i can remember. i get to live in flat!
5. there is no doubt in my mind (and in many others) that i have a sleeping disorder. i've learned to cope with it and most people are no longer surprised when i tell them i am running on two hours of sleep.
6. i try extremely hard to organize my life and belongings (including, but not limited to, making lists, writing things on post its, obsessively cleaning) but i am forever and always going to be a disorganized mess. i'm learning to cope with this newfound acceptance.
7. when i grow up i want to live in a city. whether it be new york city, boston, dublin, or london i'm not quite sure.
8. i want to travel around the world and hope to somehow, sometime be able to achieve my dream.
9. on my arm are ten burn marks.
10. one of my dreams is to have a huge family. i grew up in and around a large, fun family and i could not imagine having it any other way.
11. i have been wearing glasses since i was six months old. my mother had to put a strap around my head and attach it to my glasses so i would not pull them off.
12. my mother told me i was named after jacqueline kennedy. i think she is beautiful and aspire to have a fashion sense like hers.
13. every single person in my family is athletically inclined. i, however, am not.
14. new york city is the most wonderful place in the world. i am thankful to live 18 miles and one short train ride away from it.
15. currently, i reside in indiana. i was hesitant at first to go to an all girls catholic school but i think it's one of the best decisions i have made in my life. i really do like it here.
16. every day (not on purpose) i play at least one song that reminds me of carolyn and, in turn, the hikes that we did over the summer. i miss her so much and am so glad i'm able to talk to/call her now whenever.
17. green tea, chocolate, kerouac, ireland, ryan adams, jim james and leonardo dicaprio are my weaknesses.
18. i believe that you should never be afraid to define yourself independently. don't let other people choose who you are. however, as much as i hate to admit, i often times feel as though i lose myself in the words and thoughts of others.
19. this year, going to a catholic school, one of my requirements is to take two religion classes. i was dreading this fact at first but now i am completely and extremely interested in other religions. i want to learn more about the religions of the world especially buddhism and taoism.
20. i would be lucky to find a boyfriend/husband who is in any way like my father. i love him more than i could ever formulate in words.
21. i have read every nick hornby novel and find his writing to be absolutely hysterical and brilliant.
22. i tend to see the good in people way too often. i'm still trying to figure out if this is a good or bad thing. maybe it's both.
23. i can't think of anything more pretentious than writing twenty five facts about yourself and posting it on facebook for everyone to see. can we be any more egotistical? i also think using the word pretentious is very pretentious. but that doesn't stop me.
24. just because i cannot sing or dance (straight up lohr) does not stop me from doing so. i believe people should stop being so self-conscious, not worry about how they look and just have fun.
25. i'm still trying to find myself.
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| rock bottom. |
[01 Feb 2009|08:47pm] |
i cannot expect people to define who i am.
i lost myself.
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| Second Semester Recordings, Freshman Year Post One |
[18 Jan 2009|02:39pm] |
We were waiting inside Holy Cross because it was too cold to wait outside. From the hallway I could hear the echoes of all the girls in Kerri's room laughing and yelling. This is a regular occurrence every weekend. The music blasts, the cups clink, the girls drink themselves into oblivion. This is what I look forward to at the end every week. Everyone shifts through their closets trying to find the most flattering shirt, everyone shaves for the first time in a week (one of the few perks of going to an all-girls school), and the mascara and eye shadow are carefully applied to our faces. We never know what the night is going to behold, and frankly what happens is usually not favorable, but the memories we create are everlasting.
That is why I am going to record, from now on, the adventures, the crazy situations, and the conversations we have. These memories need to be written down so we can treasure the fucked up, miserable, hysterical and good times of our college experience. Some recollections are going to make us wince in pain, some are going to make us laugh so hard that it'll bring tears to our eyes, and some are just going to make us smile and remember the good times. I hope you all appreciate this and find some sort of enjoyment out of the situations we get ourselves into. I know I do.
January 17th, 2009
The weather forecast is -20 with windchill. Perfect night to go out, I think. We're all waiting in the Holy Cross entrance saying quick hellos to acquaintances when the trolley makes its way up the avenue. This is our means of transportation and since the trolley waits for no one so we all scramble out the door and run across the ice and snow to get a seat. The conversations on the trolley are always interesting - just a way to pass the time until we get to Notre Dame campus, but they never seem to disappoint. Sure it's uncomfortable and slightly claustrophobic when 23 drunken girls climb into the trolley at McCandless but these rides are a staple in our freshman year. Whether we're already drunk and singing Backstreet Boys at the top of our lungs or merely buzzed and just laughing about our day the trolley rides never seem to be too unbearable.
After a while, we end up at Library Circle and make our way over to Dillon. Kerri mentioned earlier that Eamon was having a party in his dorm room, and while I never necessarily find much interest in dorm parties his room always seems to be fun. We walk up the stairs to the second floor with Alex and Alec (who's real name is Stephen but insists to be called Alec) we can already hear the music thumping. Alec opens the door and we walk in. There is a disco ball of some sort hanging above our heads making red lights flash over and over again. Disturbia comes on and girls who have a beer in their hands and are clearly wasted start screaming, "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!" There are people dancing on the window sill, beers perpetually coming out of the fridge and being passed around
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| i just had a dream &, |
[21 Dec 2008|11:52am] |
as martin luther king like as that sounds, i think it really helped me step back for a second and understand my faults. i don't know why considering this revelation was seen through one of my faults, but maybe that's the way it should be. we were sitting in a deserted room - the walls were white, there was one window. the scenery outside of the window was a field with the greenest grass. on the ground were ravens lined up in a straight row. i went to open the window to take a picture but each one started to fly up into the sky. & the sky was painted with pinks and blues and oranges. we talked for a little and left me a beautiful note about literature and his desires and what he'd like to make out of the next half of a year. the dream ended with a phone call to my mother asking how she was.
i need to change. a lot. i know these are the only things i keep saying but it's completely true. i lost myself and it's time to get back on track. i can write about it all i want, i can think about it all i want, but it's time to take action. start writing about my dreams again, start listening to music that actually touches me, read literature that speaks to me. please give me the strength to help find myself again.
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| change. |
[02 Nov 2008|01:44pm] |
there is no secret as to why i'm falling into misery. i'm slowly losing myself; slowly blending into the media, into people i don't want to be. i drink, listen to akon and drift into something i know not. i have to get my life back on a track that i feel represents me. i bore myself. what happened to elliott smith? to my writing and photography? what happened to what makes me, well, me? starting today i think i should make of list of thing i need to get done. pushover no more. i can't be this nice to people who only care about themselves and how they're represented. i'm a pawn, i know that and i let everything happen. i want to stay in more and just dedicate time to myself. someone hit the fast forward button and i can't take it any longer.
make a few goals. be who people used to love. what i'm becoming is not who i love and that's the most important in my opinion.
goals for the week;
[]read anna karenina by mid next week
[]drink four water bottles a day
[x]sunday 1 2 3 4
[x]monday 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
[x]tuesday 1 2 3 4 5 6
[x]wednesday 1 2 3 4 5
[]thursday 1 2 3 4
[]friday 1 2 3 4
[]saturday 1 2 3 4
[]work out 45 min. to one hour each day
sunday: 1/2 hr on the bike
40 minutes of walking
monday: 1/2 hr on the elliptical
15 minutes spinning (that killed me.)
tuesday: 1/2 hr on bike
15 min on elliptical (the gym closed.)
wednesday: 50 minutes on elliptical
10 minutes running
[]complete all homework
goals for whenever;
[]start reading again
[]stay in more
[]elliott smith and various other artists
[]get into the habit of writing again
[]get sleep
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[20 Jul 2008|09:44am] |
belle alexandria
emory ryan
juliet evan
emmaline rose
james andrew
kieran lohr
kennedy patrick
elliott, corey, sage, boone, liam, ryan, aidan, heath, julian, anderson, brandon, rowan, connor
eva, reagan, shaye, ainsley, tegan, savannah, bryn, genevieve, emory, quinn, sierra, ryann, ava, ellie, juliet, belle, vivienne
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